Like most (I mean all!) married women, I remember my wedding day vividly. I can tell you what the air smelled like, what my mom said to me as I put my veil on, what I ate for breakfast, and what song was playing on the limo ride to the church. But what I can't tell you is what exactly, I mean exactly, those vows really meant 9 years ago.
I took my vows seriously, but to avoid breaking into tears, I treated them like lines on a stage. And later in the night, privately in our honeymoon suite, I shared my personal vows alone with my husband, so he knew I was serious. And then we took off for our WILD Mexican honeymoon for 5 days. And I mean wild...we were 23 and 25 years old, we were in Puerto Villarta. We partied like the Spring Break we never had. We had a blast. And 18 months later we had Destin Matthew Boland, our first little guy. We were (are) wildly in love. We dated for 5 months and got engaged in a Taco Bell drive thru. Most people thought we were crazy and they were not afraid to share that opinion. And that was almost 9 years ago.
There is a statistic out there that says 50% of all marriages end in divorce. And that percentage goes even higher if you have a child born with a disability. The stats are insane, something like 70% of marriages that involve a child with special needs ends in divorce. That is scary news.
I remember the day Brody was diagnosed, formally. It was Destin's Open House at his new kindergarten. I met his teacher, shook her hand, and explained that Destin had a brother with special needs. She had kind eyes and knew what I meant. Matt looked at me in shock.
Later that night I told him what the pediatrician told me...and that was our wedding day all over again.
I said this news meant we were in this together. And all of the petty stuff we had been through in the past, was nothing compared to what we were about to face...together. And I needed to know he was in this for the long haul.
"Of course, Cassie. I am in love with you," he said.
Thank God for that.
With all of the challenges we had witrh Brody over the past year, I can always go back to Matt and say that my marriage is amazing. And not many people can say that. I am one lucky mommy. The one thing in my life that has stayed strong passed any of this, is our commitment to stay together.
I love holding his calloused hands, making margaritas to old country songs, laughing at our favorite shows, folding his laundry. I love the fact that he hates makeup and high heels, loves ripped jeans and flip flops and would rather cook at home than make reservations. I love that he tears up to old movies, wrestles with our kids, and can sew buttons on a ripped dress. I love the leather boots, dirty jeans, Jack Daniels t-shirts, and cheap sunglasses that he wears when he rides the bike. I love the fact that I can't sleep unless he is home and sleeping next to me.
A lot of this blog has been about Brody, but the man who really deserves the credit is the one who tucks him in at night. The one who makes his pancakes. It's Matt. He's awesome. I am lucky. And always will be.
