Not sure what has gotten into Brody lately, but the boy is talkin'.
He is not reciting poetry or anything, but I have heard a series of lovely pop-out words that have gotten me very excited. These words may not mean a lot to the parent of any "typical" three year old, in fact I bet you wish they would stop talking. But to me, these words make my heart melt. Just like when I heard Destin speak for the first time, too. Although he could master puzzles and do math before he spoke real sentences...over-achiever.
"No."
Yes, the word 'no' may seem like an annoying example. And Brody has said 'no' or something like it before, but lately he has said 'no' with gusto.
"NO!"
Like the man means it. And he says it in regards to more than just food now. He says it about Frodo, taking a bath, putting on shoes, taking medicine, anything. Just like any crazy kid would.
"I'm Mad!"
He said it! Plain as day while Matt and I stripped him down for bath time this week. I plopped him in the water and after much disgust and eating the bubbles, he just yelled, "I'm mad!" Well then...so he is not only saying how he feels but in the correct context! Woot!
"Momma"
My own personal favorite. "Momma" was one of his first words. Brody said his first word at 10 months. And he just kept speaking from there. It was awesome; he was on a roll. But then the words stopped. And I went for about 2 years without hearing "Momma." Kind of broke my heart a little, but I can't stay upset. I know he knows I am his mother. Definitely. But it was nice to hear this word all week long and he would say it while looking at me or holding my hand.
"Boo-Boo!"
Now, we have no idea who or what "Boo-Boo" is in our house. My cousin Amanda, her nickname is Boo-Boo. She used to fall down a lot as a kid and get "Boo-Boos." Catchy, I know. But unless Brody is a medium with psychic powers, this obviously means something else. He says it when he is happy or excited mostly. So, I guess this is some kind of happy-go-lucky-I-am-having-fun word?
There you have it. Brody's new, regular words are coming right along. I am excited to see if they "stick." Or if they fade away in the next month. I am confident they are here to stay. But I have learned to take every good day for what it's worth and every moment to heart.
Again, Brody was sent to us so Matt and I would never take any moment for granted again. Because that one special moment, like hearing the word "Momma," may never come back.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Meeting with our Peeps
This morning at 9AM, Matt and I were sitting at Barrett's Elementary with some of the smartest women we know. They are not lawyers or doctors or writers or scientists, they are communication specialists for ASD children, a speech pathologist, and Brody's lovely teacher Emily.
This was a meeting to discuss Brody's goals and progress...and of course what is lacking.
The good news is that he is progressing! He is very connected to the teachers in the class. He also loves the PECS activity (he has to show a picture of an item he wants before he gets the item). He does this activity with over 80% accuracy! Yeah!
He also has a series of "pop-out" words. Meaning he will randomly say a word like "Rapunzel!" or "Cheese crackers" or "Budweiser!" (I know, nice.)
Other good things...he excels on the playground, no gross motor delays to report. He climbs, runs, plays, tumbles, with ease.
He is also sitting for circle, the entire time, and loves music time...they said me smiles and dances for the music which is very assuring that he is aware of his surroundings. He is very connected to his teachers; he loves on them, hugs them, wants kisses. He also started "fist bumps" i.e. Howie Mandel style. He does this on cue.
The main challenge is his ability to focus on one thing at a time. He also needs help with fine motor activities like cutting with scissors, zipping his coat, buttons, etc. He is good at lacing, though. He also does EVERYTHING but speak when he wants something. He plays a constant game of charades for his needs.
So he will stand by the coats and jump around when he wants to play outside instead of saying
"Hey, I want out lady..let's get to business!"
He will try and open his crackers himself with his teeth instead of asking for help.
He'll get the actual juice container from the frig and hand it to us instead of asking for juide (well sometimes he says "juice" probably 3 times a day). He'll get a game or DVD out of the cabinet instead of asking for it, etc.
So, everything but communicate verbally.
Then we moved onto what concerns 'we' the parents have for him...and for me, it is building relationships with other children.
Brody loves teenagers. He loves parents and grandparents, aunt and uncles. But not other small children. They freak him out. Too unpredictable (can you blame him?). He does play really well they Destin; they are BFF.
I really could care less about academic progress right now..yeah that's right I said it.
I don't care about academics with my 3 year old kid....colors, numbers, shapes...I don't give a sh**.
So what if he does not know that stuff right now? He WILL.
Would it be awesome if he could recite his ABC's? Heck yeah. But I cannot dwell on the fact that some kids can and he can't...yet.
I would be torturing myself if every day I thought about we he 'cannot do.' I am only human though...I do tear up when I see other small children holding conversations with their parents. It does hurt to see other "normal" children at play...sort of feels like my chest is caving in...but again, I cannot focus on these negative thoughts; I would go insane. And a crazy momma is not a good momma. I have to keep it together for Brody's sake...and for my husband.
Am I thrilled at those baby videos of 18 month olds reciting the Gettysburg Address? Yes, of course. But really, is it necessary for a 2 year old to know mulitplication tables or the value of a dime? Ummm nope. It's not like they are entering Harvard right after they are potty-trained. We have some time.
I would be more thrilled if Brody made a best friend or said his own name, or maybe an "I love you, mommy!" I mean, who gives a rip if he knows the alphabet...what if he can't sing it with his buddies?
The day he says "I love you" for the first time, will be the best day of my life. Right up there with my wedding day and the birthdays of my boys. That is my own goal for him. To say what he feels, wants, and needs in actual words. That is my goal for him.
And then there's Matt. Matt has NEVER missed a meeting about Brody. In fact, he has never missed anything when our boys are concerned: not a parent-teacher conference, not a doctor's appointment. I am so lucky. Without our marriage, and its strength, I do not know where I would be...probably in a corner crying over buckets of ice cream and other drugs.
So, the meeting today went very well. I left in a great mood and I left wanting to hold Brody even tighter. And tell Destin what an amazing big brother he is to Brody. Now if we could just get him off the shelves and keep him dressed...we would be in good shape.
This was a meeting to discuss Brody's goals and progress...and of course what is lacking.
The good news is that he is progressing! He is very connected to the teachers in the class. He also loves the PECS activity (he has to show a picture of an item he wants before he gets the item). He does this activity with over 80% accuracy! Yeah!
He also has a series of "pop-out" words. Meaning he will randomly say a word like "Rapunzel!" or "Cheese crackers" or "Budweiser!" (I know, nice.)
Other good things...he excels on the playground, no gross motor delays to report. He climbs, runs, plays, tumbles, with ease.
He is also sitting for circle, the entire time, and loves music time...they said me smiles and dances for the music which is very assuring that he is aware of his surroundings. He is very connected to his teachers; he loves on them, hugs them, wants kisses. He also started "fist bumps" i.e. Howie Mandel style. He does this on cue.
The main challenge is his ability to focus on one thing at a time. He also needs help with fine motor activities like cutting with scissors, zipping his coat, buttons, etc. He is good at lacing, though. He also does EVERYTHING but speak when he wants something. He plays a constant game of charades for his needs.
So he will stand by the coats and jump around when he wants to play outside instead of saying
"Hey, I want out lady..let's get to business!"
He will try and open his crackers himself with his teeth instead of asking for help.
He'll get the actual juice container from the frig and hand it to us instead of asking for juide (well sometimes he says "juice" probably 3 times a day). He'll get a game or DVD out of the cabinet instead of asking for it, etc.
So, everything but communicate verbally.
Then we moved onto what concerns 'we' the parents have for him...and for me, it is building relationships with other children.
Brody loves teenagers. He loves parents and grandparents, aunt and uncles. But not other small children. They freak him out. Too unpredictable (can you blame him?). He does play really well they Destin; they are BFF.
I really could care less about academic progress right now..yeah that's right I said it.
I don't care about academics with my 3 year old kid....colors, numbers, shapes...I don't give a sh**.
So what if he does not know that stuff right now? He WILL.
Would it be awesome if he could recite his ABC's? Heck yeah. But I cannot dwell on the fact that some kids can and he can't...yet.
I would be torturing myself if every day I thought about we he 'cannot do.' I am only human though...I do tear up when I see other small children holding conversations with their parents. It does hurt to see other "normal" children at play...sort of feels like my chest is caving in...but again, I cannot focus on these negative thoughts; I would go insane. And a crazy momma is not a good momma. I have to keep it together for Brody's sake...and for my husband.
Am I thrilled at those baby videos of 18 month olds reciting the Gettysburg Address? Yes, of course. But really, is it necessary for a 2 year old to know mulitplication tables or the value of a dime? Ummm nope. It's not like they are entering Harvard right after they are potty-trained. We have some time.
I would be more thrilled if Brody made a best friend or said his own name, or maybe an "I love you, mommy!" I mean, who gives a rip if he knows the alphabet...what if he can't sing it with his buddies?
The day he says "I love you" for the first time, will be the best day of my life. Right up there with my wedding day and the birthdays of my boys. That is my own goal for him. To say what he feels, wants, and needs in actual words. That is my goal for him.
And then there's Matt. Matt has NEVER missed a meeting about Brody. In fact, he has never missed anything when our boys are concerned: not a parent-teacher conference, not a doctor's appointment. I am so lucky. Without our marriage, and its strength, I do not know where I would be...probably in a corner crying over buckets of ice cream and other drugs.
So, the meeting today went very well. I left in a great mood and I left wanting to hold Brody even tighter. And tell Destin what an amazing big brother he is to Brody. Now if we could just get him off the shelves and keep him dressed...we would be in good shape.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Destin is a Nerd. And that's OK.
About 2 weeks ago, I got a call from Destin's school about some concerning "behaviors" he was displaying in class.
His teacher explained that he frequently:
- Focused and obsessed on race cars, drew pictures of them, talked about them a lot, would make paper ones and race them in class.
- Avoided group activities and preferred to play alone or color/read.
- Preferred to talk to her than the other kids at times
- Loved math and played games with numbers
- Discussed the date and the weather in class.
- Remembered dates and was very smart with numbers, but not so much with writing.
As the conversation continued, the child psychologist for the school got on the phone and explained she wanted to have Destin tested for...wait for it...wait..Autism.
Yes, that's right. You heard here first.
The shrink (I am only saying "shrink" because it takes less time to type) said these behaviors are sure signs of ASD and that he probably only had a "slight case of autism."
A slight case of autism is like being a little bit pregnant.
I remained very calm on the phone and explained that we had a child with an ASD diagnosis. I told her I was more concerned with Destin's anxiety about school than with his preference to play alone or talk about cars, etc. The shrink said she knew about Brody from Destin's teacher. They were aware and just wanted to "play it safe" and run some tests and observations in class. She said to look for the consent forms in his backpack.
Then she hung up.
So, of course I shook like a leaf...called my mother, called my husband, my sister, my dad. Cried, yelled, screamed. All of that stuff. I called my friends, who are also educators, and asked for guidance.
Katie Hensler, if you are reading, you are a GODSEND. A true friend.
Why can't people just leave my kids alone?
Now, I understand all of this awareness is a very good thing. Believe me. I have been there and back and back again. I know his teachers CARE deeply for Destin. And it is wonderful. Destin's teacher is a sweetheart and I love talking to her. She has a great sense of humor, a lot of energy. She loves him.
We are so lucky. This post is in no way an angry letter to her...
But seriously...autism? Because he LOVES race cars, NASCAR, bowling, and is painfully shy in large groups, he has ASD?
So, I did what any good mother would do in this case. I immediately called our amazing neurologists,
Dr. Rothman and Dr. Mantovani and made an appointment at Mercy Hospital.
Boo-Yah.
The appointment was yesterday. And after an hour of questioning Destin Boland, making him do a series of "tricks" (as I call them) and other cognitive tasks, Dr. Rothman concluded that...
Destin is a Nerd.
Now he did not say those words exactly, but I knew what he was thinking.
He said Destin is very "unique" and has some quirks, but does NOT in ANY WAY have ASD or any spectrum disorder. Period.
Was I relieved? Of course. Who wouldn't be?
Am I angry at his teacher or the child shrink at school?
Nope. They just love my kid.
I let his teacher know the doc gave him a clean bill of health...if they still want to test, fine, go ahead. It won't change a thing.
It's really time we celebrate our kid's differences...I love the fact that Destin is in love with NASCAR, is great at Math, and is very tidy. I think it's OK if he prefers to play alone sometimes...he has 2 good little friends at school that he hangs out with and you know what? That's more than most kids have these days. And they are great kids. Destin is not afraid to be different. What more could a mother ask for?
Destin is my little Nerd and I would never have it any other way.
His teacher explained that he frequently:
- Focused and obsessed on race cars, drew pictures of them, talked about them a lot, would make paper ones and race them in class.
- Avoided group activities and preferred to play alone or color/read.
- Preferred to talk to her than the other kids at times
- Loved math and played games with numbers
- Discussed the date and the weather in class.
- Remembered dates and was very smart with numbers, but not so much with writing.
As the conversation continued, the child psychologist for the school got on the phone and explained she wanted to have Destin tested for...wait for it...wait..Autism.
Yes, that's right. You heard here first.
The shrink (I am only saying "shrink" because it takes less time to type) said these behaviors are sure signs of ASD and that he probably only had a "slight case of autism."
A slight case of autism is like being a little bit pregnant.
I remained very calm on the phone and explained that we had a child with an ASD diagnosis. I told her I was more concerned with Destin's anxiety about school than with his preference to play alone or talk about cars, etc. The shrink said she knew about Brody from Destin's teacher. They were aware and just wanted to "play it safe" and run some tests and observations in class. She said to look for the consent forms in his backpack.
Then she hung up.
So, of course I shook like a leaf...called my mother, called my husband, my sister, my dad. Cried, yelled, screamed. All of that stuff. I called my friends, who are also educators, and asked for guidance.
Katie Hensler, if you are reading, you are a GODSEND. A true friend.
Why can't people just leave my kids alone?
Now, I understand all of this awareness is a very good thing. Believe me. I have been there and back and back again. I know his teachers CARE deeply for Destin. And it is wonderful. Destin's teacher is a sweetheart and I love talking to her. She has a great sense of humor, a lot of energy. She loves him.
We are so lucky. This post is in no way an angry letter to her...
But seriously...autism? Because he LOVES race cars, NASCAR, bowling, and is painfully shy in large groups, he has ASD?
So, I did what any good mother would do in this case. I immediately called our amazing neurologists,
Dr. Rothman and Dr. Mantovani and made an appointment at Mercy Hospital.
Boo-Yah.
The appointment was yesterday. And after an hour of questioning Destin Boland, making him do a series of "tricks" (as I call them) and other cognitive tasks, Dr. Rothman concluded that...
Destin is a Nerd.
Now he did not say those words exactly, but I knew what he was thinking.
He said Destin is very "unique" and has some quirks, but does NOT in ANY WAY have ASD or any spectrum disorder. Period.
Was I relieved? Of course. Who wouldn't be?
Am I angry at his teacher or the child shrink at school?
Nope. They just love my kid.
I let his teacher know the doc gave him a clean bill of health...if they still want to test, fine, go ahead. It won't change a thing.
It's really time we celebrate our kid's differences...I love the fact that Destin is in love with NASCAR, is great at Math, and is very tidy. I think it's OK if he prefers to play alone sometimes...he has 2 good little friends at school that he hangs out with and you know what? That's more than most kids have these days. And they are great kids. Destin is not afraid to be different. What more could a mother ask for?
Destin is my little Nerd and I would never have it any other way.
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