Remember that song "More Than Words"? I think it was by Extreme or one of those 1980's bands (or early nineties bands). I LOVED that song.
"Sayin' I love you...is not the words I want to hear from you...
....what would you say, if I took those words away...more than
words to show you feel that your love for me is real....what would you
do...if my heart was torn in two..."
I mean I LOVED that song.
I would blast it in my car on my way to football games and request it on the radio during "Pillow Talk...Soft Rock 102.5..." I would make my boyfriends learn it on guitar and of course begged my now husband to play it over and over when we met.
I would have no idea that in just about 10 years that song would play in my mind every day.
Brody is still considered "non-verbal." Simply because he does not express himself verbally, he has been "blessed" with a label. However, for those of you who have met Brody, you know he is very expressive. He is a boy who loves to love.
Just last week, I was sitting in the living room with my two guys. Destin was making song requests..."Itsy Bitsy Spider" was one of them, then we sang the "Alphabet Song and then "Bullet Train, Choo Choo Soul." Brody just stared at my mouth as we sang and played with my hair...then squeezed my cheeks together and gave me a kiss. Then Destin wanted a kiss, and so and so on.
But at the end of our little session, he laid his head on my shoulder and fell asleep quietly.
He was warm and soft. Heaven in my lap. Love.
Now he may not have said it at the moment, but I felt it. It's more than words. So what would I do if the words "I love you" went away? Well, I would look to Brody for an answer.
I gently carried him to his bed so he could rest, still in clothes of course.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
All is Fair in Love and Playgrounds
Yesterday was an amazing day for the Bolands. Not only did I have the day off from work, but it was a big day for Brody and for me. I realized that all kids are the same...on the playground.
After a morning hanging out at the house watching "Tangled" I took the boys out to eat for cheese
"ques-ka-di-yas" as Destin says, then we went to Fenton City Park. We were not the only ones with this idea apparently because the place was hoppin.' I barely found a spot to park.
We set up shop right in front of the jungle gym/slide thingy. Destin ran off to the swings. Last time we went to the playground, about 2 months ago (hey we moved, we barely have time for this stuff anymore!) Brody just mingled around, wandered, occasionally went up the stairs, occasionally wanted to swing. Mostly he would run around aimlessly as I chased him.
But not yesterday.
Brody was on a mission; to conquer the twisty slide. He climbed up the stairs, waited his turn, went down the slide, all while looking and smiling straight at me. He did this for almost 20 minutes. It was wonderful. He blended right in with the other little ones (except he was wayyyyy cuter!). He was screaming, yelling, running around, looking at other kids, jumping on the bridges, climbing the walls of the jungle gym...it was amazing to watch.
But it did not end there...little boys would come up to him and want to share things (like sticks, rocks, dirt, mud) and he totally reached out his hand each time to grab theirs. Yes, there were almost some tears at the park...from mommy!
Brody also, like any 3 year old, was fearless. The monkey bars are a favorite. While Destin, my cautious child, wanted me to hold him up while he moved from bar to bar, Brody just went for it. He would hang for a minute, then move to the next bar. He did this for almost 30 minutes. It was awesome.
Normalness is something we all take for granted; I know I did before Brody's diagnosis. I took potty-training as just another chore, not a daily victory. I took using utensils has mere mundane routine, but it is a great achievement to see Brody eat cereal. I also took sharing as a "requirement" of children, not as developmental growth. But it is such a sign of development and relationship building.
After today I realized why Brody was sent to us, so we would never take anything from our children for granted again. Everything they learn and do is a gift...even sharing a mud pie.
After a morning hanging out at the house watching "Tangled" I took the boys out to eat for cheese
"ques-ka-di-yas" as Destin says, then we went to Fenton City Park. We were not the only ones with this idea apparently because the place was hoppin.' I barely found a spot to park.
We set up shop right in front of the jungle gym/slide thingy. Destin ran off to the swings. Last time we went to the playground, about 2 months ago (hey we moved, we barely have time for this stuff anymore!) Brody just mingled around, wandered, occasionally went up the stairs, occasionally wanted to swing. Mostly he would run around aimlessly as I chased him.
But not yesterday.
Brody was on a mission; to conquer the twisty slide. He climbed up the stairs, waited his turn, went down the slide, all while looking and smiling straight at me. He did this for almost 20 minutes. It was wonderful. He blended right in with the other little ones (except he was wayyyyy cuter!). He was screaming, yelling, running around, looking at other kids, jumping on the bridges, climbing the walls of the jungle gym...it was amazing to watch.
But it did not end there...little boys would come up to him and want to share things (like sticks, rocks, dirt, mud) and he totally reached out his hand each time to grab theirs. Yes, there were almost some tears at the park...from mommy!
Brody also, like any 3 year old, was fearless. The monkey bars are a favorite. While Destin, my cautious child, wanted me to hold him up while he moved from bar to bar, Brody just went for it. He would hang for a minute, then move to the next bar. He did this for almost 30 minutes. It was awesome.
Normalness is something we all take for granted; I know I did before Brody's diagnosis. I took potty-training as just another chore, not a daily victory. I took using utensils has mere mundane routine, but it is a great achievement to see Brody eat cereal. I also took sharing as a "requirement" of children, not as developmental growth. But it is such a sign of development and relationship building.
After today I realized why Brody was sent to us, so we would never take anything from our children for granted again. Everything they learn and do is a gift...even sharing a mud pie.
Monday, January 2, 2012
So this was Christmas...
I hope I do not sound like Uncle Scrooge when I say this, but I am happy the holidays are over.
Not that Christmas and New Year's were not fun this year, they were wonderful, but very exhausting. I am sure a lot of you are also a little happy that the tree is coming down and the shopping is finished.
The holidays seemed to exentuate Brody's fun quirks. As you know, we refer to Brody as "Mr. Naked" around the house. It used to be very cute to find Brody naked, happily watching TV or eating breakfast, but ever since the holidays it is out of control. He now HATES wearing pull-ups, which is a great sign that we are close to potty-training the guy, but up until then, it is very hard to keep the child from dropping his pants at the drop of a hat in the living room. He especially loves getting naked and sitting on the couch...ewww. Thank goodness it is treated-leather.
The holidays also brought about a new trend with the Brodster and that is "tantrums." Brody used to rarely throw a temper tantrum; I mean rarely...he was not perfect, but maybe once or twice a week there would be an outburst. But this weekend we were in a grocery store in Branson and I bet the cashiers thought we were kidnappers. I also want to strangle the person who puts those M&M's (and hot-wheels cars) in the checkout line.
Here is the scene...Destin grabs a packet of M&M's and starts begging for them. Brody sees his brother in distress, then gets mad. He starts head butting Destin in line and grabs the candy from him. Destin shrieks and Brody shrieks louder and busts the bag open. Candy goes everywhere as I run to the parking lot with the kids...Matt hastily pays the bill as I make the getaway. I am sure someone studied our images for America's Most Wanted.
On our way home from Branson yesterday, Brody was sleeping and snoring in the car, Destin was playing his Leapster. I looked at my husband and selfishly asked if things could get any worse right now. The kids were finally content after a lot of chaotic moments; I was hitting my breaking point. It was definitely a down moment. Brody is nuts over the holidays, we are exhausted, and what for?
Matt reminded me of how lucky we are to have Brody...he hugs us, kisses us, loves us and we know it. Many autistic children do not show affection. And have the help/support we need to get through a hard time. We have a home, we have good jobs, we have professional help. Not many people can say that, especially those with a special needs child. We are lucky. And yes, things can get much, much worse.
He also reminded me of how we are lucky to have each other...he is right (don't tell him that!).
So, were the holidays insane...yes. But would we expect anything different? Nope.
This is our new normal...and it is starting to feel like home.
Not that Christmas and New Year's were not fun this year, they were wonderful, but very exhausting. I am sure a lot of you are also a little happy that the tree is coming down and the shopping is finished.
The holidays seemed to exentuate Brody's fun quirks. As you know, we refer to Brody as "Mr. Naked" around the house. It used to be very cute to find Brody naked, happily watching TV or eating breakfast, but ever since the holidays it is out of control. He now HATES wearing pull-ups, which is a great sign that we are close to potty-training the guy, but up until then, it is very hard to keep the child from dropping his pants at the drop of a hat in the living room. He especially loves getting naked and sitting on the couch...ewww. Thank goodness it is treated-leather.
The holidays also brought about a new trend with the Brodster and that is "tantrums." Brody used to rarely throw a temper tantrum; I mean rarely...he was not perfect, but maybe once or twice a week there would be an outburst. But this weekend we were in a grocery store in Branson and I bet the cashiers thought we were kidnappers. I also want to strangle the person who puts those M&M's (and hot-wheels cars) in the checkout line.
Here is the scene...Destin grabs a packet of M&M's and starts begging for them. Brody sees his brother in distress, then gets mad. He starts head butting Destin in line and grabs the candy from him. Destin shrieks and Brody shrieks louder and busts the bag open. Candy goes everywhere as I run to the parking lot with the kids...Matt hastily pays the bill as I make the getaway. I am sure someone studied our images for America's Most Wanted.
On our way home from Branson yesterday, Brody was sleeping and snoring in the car, Destin was playing his Leapster. I looked at my husband and selfishly asked if things could get any worse right now. The kids were finally content after a lot of chaotic moments; I was hitting my breaking point. It was definitely a down moment. Brody is nuts over the holidays, we are exhausted, and what for?
Matt reminded me of how lucky we are to have Brody...he hugs us, kisses us, loves us and we know it. Many autistic children do not show affection. And have the help/support we need to get through a hard time. We have a home, we have good jobs, we have professional help. Not many people can say that, especially those with a special needs child. We are lucky. And yes, things can get much, much worse.
He also reminded me of how we are lucky to have each other...he is right (don't tell him that!).
So, were the holidays insane...yes. But would we expect anything different? Nope.
This is our new normal...and it is starting to feel like home.
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