I get a lot
of questions about what we do with Brody that might be different from other
“typical” kids, or how Brody is actually different from other kids. Sometimes
people really want to know just what goes on in the house. He has autism…so…what does that even mean in
the day-to-day? Now, this is not one of those blog posts that are like “Booo…
poor us, Brody is autistic, look how hard we have it…” We actually don’t have it
HALF as hard as some. We’re pretty lucky with our guy.
So, if
you’re wondering about how Brody’s life is different from most, here is a top 6
list, because the Internet loves lists!
Here it
goes:
1.)
We gotta hide liquids.
Brody is
obsessed with liquids right now, but it is getting better, thank GOD. If he
sees a liquid out for too long (water bottle, milk jug, shampoo) he’ll dump it
on the floor or in the toilet. At first we didn’t think this was an issue…we
thought it was just an isolated incident…we’d leave the room and Brody would
wander into the bathrooms. He’d grab my shampoo, always the most expensive
brands, and dump them in the hallway. What we thought was isolated was
re-occurring for three weeks. Then he started on my makeup, them my hairspray. Think
of ALL of the liquids in your house…now imagine them all over the floor.
Yeah…it’s a mess. And FINALLY this week we’ve seen this obsession go away! And
his teachers do not see it at school…so hopefully he is over it. It was a long
month.
2.)
It’s a naked house.
Sometimes in
the mornings before school, I’ll let Brody hang around in his underwear until
about 5 minutes before we leave because I JUST KNOW he’ll take off all of his
clothes right before we head out. The kid loves to be naked. All the time.
It’s really
bad in the winter…we’ll have him all bundled up and ready and he will strip
naked in a matter of seconds. He will make an excellent Chippendale dancer. But
that is just another piece of our lives with Brody we have to work with. He is
slowly growing out of this, but we still see the nudity pop up every now and
again. Once, he started to undress in the checkout line at Dierbergs…which is
cute if you are 4 years old. But if he was 17 and doing this, he would be
arrested. No Bueno.
3.)
Food cures all.
I used to
think I could cure autism with Dr. Pepper. It’s true. Brody will do just about
anything for his favorite foods. If you want to move mountains, try
marshmallows. He really loves berries now, any kind of berries, so that’s a
bonus because they’re healthy.
Brody does
better when he eats healthier. And this does not really mean ONLY gluten free;
it just means a healthier diet, especially low sugar. Think about it. When you’re
all sugared up on doughnuts and caffeine, you have a hard time at work, right?
Same thing with Brody and with a lot of kids. A healthier diet gives better
results.
BUT, he is
still a six year old boy, and let’s face it, we spoil him…TO DEATH. If
Brody asks for something verbally, no matter what it is, he gets it (Wow could
that work in his favor as a teenager!). Or if he requests it with his iPad, he
also gets it. If he initiates any communication to show he wants a food, we 99%
of the time will let him have it. Luckily, we’re in that berry phase I
mentioned right now.
4.) There is no such thing as too many hugs, kisses and snuggles.
Whenever I
tell people that Brody is super affectionate, I always get a look of
shock…”Aren’t autistic kids supposed to hate affection?” Well….not all of them.
Every situation is unique. Brody loves kisses and hugs …the more the better.
And I can’t complain about this one.
Sometimes
he’ll want a million kisses at awkward times. We were in the post office last
week and he could not get enough kisses from his brother…or hugs. It was
adorable for the first 5 minutes and then Brody would not let Destin go. We were
in line at the post office with a kissing 6 year old and my 9 year old trying
to fend him off. They were both laughing hysterically, and then I started
laughing hysterically…imagine two little boys in a kissing fight and their VERY
prego mom laughing just as hard with them. So again, I can’t complain. I love
the interaction between the two of them; it can just get to be a bit much. If
you ever come to visit us, just count on Brody coming over to sit on your lap,
hug and kiss you.
5.)
Parenting goes up a notch.
Brag alert: If
you see my FB page on a daily basis, you’ll see connected Brody and Mayy are.
Literally. Matt is amazing. He kicks ass
at this dad thing. He is incredibly involved in all of Brody’s care and very
involved during IEP meetings. He comes to the meetings with questions, agendas,
ideas, tips, everything. While I am emotional during these meetings and really
any meeting where we discuss Brody’s obstacles, Matt is right there and he
sounds EXACTLY like the teachers. He’s actually been asked to leave his current
job and work with special needs kids. He truly is a wonderful man.
I think I’m
a pretty darn good mom as well, but only because my other half sets the bar
very high. If you see us out all together as a family, you’ll see we’re both “on”
at all times. I do not want Matt to have to bear the brunt of Brody’s issues,
and he doesn’t want me to freak out either. We have give each other breaks…”OK,
you take Brody to kickball and I’ll hang back with Destin and cook dinner, when
you get back I’ll give Brody a bath and you can take the bike out, and play with
Destin outside…ok BREAK!”
I like to
think of parenting a special needs child as parenting up a notch. Typical kids
are tough, too,; Destin can give us a run for our money. But I’d rival a rough
night with Destin being bratty and defiant about homework, with a night of Brody
meltdowns and (rare) self-injury…Brody wins that hands down.
Come to
think of it, that’s probably why Matt and I are un-phased when other kids throw
fits…we’re kinda like “eh that is nothing…that kid is not even slapping himself…”
We’re almost shell-shocked and desensitized
to kid issues. We see parents lose their shit when their kids won’t eat their
chicken nuggets or if they cut in line at the mall or pick their noses and we’re
sitting there like “well, hey…did you see that kid’s eye contact?! Amazing.”
If Brody ever
verbally refused chicken nuggets I might buy him a pony.
6.)
We plan, and then someone hides their
shoes.
Let’s say we
get invited to a birthday party. The invite goes out, I stick it on the frig in
the kitchen and we go about our crazy lives of Brody kisses, clean ups, school,
conferences and special needs workshops. The day rolls around, I get the gift a
week in advance so that’s cool. But it’s about 15 minutes before we need to
leave, and suddenly we realize that Brody has hidden all of his shoes. ALL of
them. So, we spend 10 minutes looking for them….but in the meantime Brody has
stripped naked! And now we have to re-dress him and find shoes. And now Destin
is pissed and doesn’t want to go. And now…we are late to the party.
Even though
we planned our day around this event, we planned in advance, RSVP’d, etc. we
are now late. You’d be surprised, but I’ve actually caught some hell for
showing up to functions late with the kids. I am so sorry we missed cake and
presents, but this is totally not on purpose….it’s just that something always
comes up. ALWAYS. This drives my husband crazy…he hates being late. But I kind
of got over that about a year ago. So, do not be offended if we show up late to
your kid event, it was not on purpose. We more than likely had a naked kid
running around the house or had to clean up a shampoo dump in the hallway or
could not find the Dr. Pepper for the drive to your house.
Frazzled, but still here.
Despite all
of these challenges, we are very lucky as we can still have fun with Brody. He
is still “with us” in that he is aware of his family and obviously cares for
us. We’re so grateful that he is incredibly healthy and loving. Some days are
very, very hard…like the days where nothing we do makes him happy or if he’s
sick and can’t tell us what’s wrong. The holidays and summers are always tough
on everyone because the routine is gone. Last summer, I had to quit my job and
take a few months off because of the stress. We just couldn’t handle Brody’s
issues with transitions and me working. Wow, it was hard. With the holidays, if
you see me or Matt at Christmas or Easter, I am probably frazzled or may tear
up if you ask how we are doing. It’s
just…sigh…very hard. But we’re still here and we’re not going to stop caring
for our baby or giving him a good life. He deserves all we’ve got to give, so
Brody…bring it.
