Now, this may sound like an incredibly boring post. How many
times does a mom go to Walgreens or grocery shopping with her kids? Daily,
right? A trip to Walgreens is not that easy when you have a nonverbal autistic
son and a 13 month old; it can get tricky. Here is a breakdown of our last
visit; think of it as a snapshot into our world with Brody:
It was 9:30AM last Saturday. Matt and Destin were out of
town camping/floating in Lesterville, MO. After getting all of the kids ready
for a big day of parties and swimming, I noticed we were out of several things
in the house: carpet cleaner, Swiffer refills, paper towels…and I had to pick
up a photo order at Walgreens. On any typical day, I’d just push this all off
until later when I could go alone without Brody, but this kid needs to be out
and about. He needs to get out and experience the day-to-day…so, I decided to
throw them in the car, with our supplies for the day, and head out to
Walgreens.
While he in the car, he took off his pants, socks and shoes.
Once we got to the parking lot, I grabbed an abandon grocery
cart by the car and then wrestled Sam out of the carseat (he was chiming away
with “DADADADADDDAAADADA!” all the while) and then plopped him the cart, and
then got Brody ready for the store, put his shoes on and other clothing, (as he
takes them off all. the.time.). A nice older man who saw my shit-show enter the
store said, (and I hear this a lot),
“My, you have your hands full!”
Thanks buddy.
So, remarkably, we entered the store, and hardly anyone was
there! Thank GOD! It was a quiet morning at the ‘ol Walgreens. We made it to
all of the necessary aisles…and my secret weapon was the cart. I just asked
Brody to push Sam in the car from aisle to aisle….success!
The plan of pushing the cart worked; Brody was occupied and
happy for about 2 aisles or more. And he even grabbed the items from the shelf
and put them in the cart. And he threw in some of his favorites, too (juice
boxes, candy, popsicles).
But next it’s time for…checkout. This is where my seemingly
“normal” outings go to hell in a handbasket.
My crew rolled up to the checkout, and a nice lady, who
looked kinda like Dorothy from Golden Girls, was at the counter with her
coupons explaining she needed 50 cents off of her toilet paper – she was
showing her army of coupons to the cashier who looked a lot like Mr. Roper from
Three’s Company. Brody started to scream a little with impatience….the kid had
places to go and people to see…then Sam started in with “DADADADADADADA!”…yeah,
we were that family.
My secret weapon this time?
As I was sweating, I said, “Brody, let’s put all of the
stuff on the checkout counter! Take it from the…no….not there…from the cart. No
Mentos, Brody!” After some screams and squeals, he was ok with it.
Dorothy from Golden Girls managed to get her discount, and
she left. I was about to hand her 50 cents for her troubles…but now it was our
turn.
Mr. Roper scanned our items quickly, and started making
small talk. He asked a few questions, as most people do,
“So, is he autistic?” (Actually he said, “she” but
whatever…)
I explained that he was and nonverbal…he asked a couple more
questions and mentioned his sister worked with special needs kids for 30 years.
“Well, they have to get out, ya know? And you’re a good mom
for bringing him with you,” he said, as he packed our bags.
“Thanks, I am trying.”
The fun wasn’t over yet…we still needed the photos…this
time, I brought out the big guns…bribery. I spoiled Brody with Mike N’ Ikes (or
edible re-enforcers) and we paid for the pics…he only screamed once in that
line…and jumped a ton but I can take the jumping. Sam watched in delight.
Then we busted a move! We flew through the doors and I
heard,
“Nice seeing you!” from Mr. Roper.
While this was a very successful trip, as I hope you can
tell, it’s still a lot of work. I typically break a sweat with each outing that
involves Brody, (and also contemplate if I can drink tequila at 9AM or not) and
I forgot to mention I always have an escape plan if things go south. We were
also lucky the place wasn’t crowded and that the checkout line was short. If
the store was crowded, if the line was long or Brody was too tired, we would
have left immediately.
Outings are an area of Brody’s life that need work. I’d say
this is the one area in which I lack the most experience or lack the most
confidence – parks, most pools, family homes, beaches, etc. more private places
are just fine. It’s a raging success. But public places like stores, well, that
is Matt’s area of expertise. He just throws Brody in the car and takes him
everywhere, even the liquor store! Or Lowes!
And you can forget plane rides, but that is another story. So,
as he gets older, we’ll get him out more…and places that are outside his
comfort zone…or is it my comfort zone? See…it’s both isn’t it? I have to get
more comfortable with the chaos of being out with him, and his reaction to his
surroundings. And he needs to work on getting more comfortable with functioning
in these areas of the world. I don’t
care too much about the stares any more (which those do still hurt, but now I
just ignore them) but I care about quality of life. How can he enjoy an event
if he screams the whole time? And how can I? There is much work to be done in
this area.
As you can see/read/experience, autism is SUCH a journey.
And it’s an exercise in patience, sanity, and courage. I just gotta do it. And
I will…the next time we need more Pledge.
