This morning at 9AM, Matt and I were sitting at Barrett's Elementary with some of the smartest women we know. They are not lawyers or doctors or writers or scientists, they are communication specialists for ASD children, a speech pathologist, and Brody's lovely teacher Emily.
This was a meeting to discuss Brody's goals and progress...and of course what is lacking.
The good news is that he is progressing! He is very connected to the teachers in the class. He also loves the PECS activity (he has to show a picture of an item he wants before he gets the item). He does this activity with over 80% accuracy! Yeah!
He also has a series of "pop-out" words. Meaning he will randomly say a word like "Rapunzel!" or "Cheese crackers" or "Budweiser!" (I know, nice.)
Other good things...he excels on the playground, no gross motor delays to report. He climbs, runs, plays, tumbles, with ease.
He is also sitting for circle, the entire time, and loves music time...they said me smiles and dances for the music which is very assuring that he is aware of his surroundings. He is very connected to his teachers; he loves on them, hugs them, wants kisses. He also started "fist bumps" i.e. Howie Mandel style. He does this on cue.
The main challenge is his ability to focus on one thing at a time. He also needs help with fine motor activities like cutting with scissors, zipping his coat, buttons, etc. He is good at lacing, though. He also does EVERYTHING but speak when he wants something. He plays a constant game of charades for his needs.
So he will stand by the coats and jump around when he wants to play outside instead of saying
"Hey, I want out lady..let's get to business!"
He will try and open his crackers himself with his teeth instead of asking for help.
He'll get the actual juice container from the frig and hand it to us instead of asking for juide (well sometimes he says "juice" probably 3 times a day). He'll get a game or DVD out of the cabinet instead of asking for it, etc.
So, everything but communicate verbally.
Then we moved onto what concerns 'we' the parents have for him...and for me, it is building relationships with other children.
Brody loves teenagers. He loves parents and grandparents, aunt and uncles. But not other small children. They freak him out. Too unpredictable (can you blame him?). He does play really well they Destin; they are BFF.
I really could care less about academic progress right now..yeah that's right I said it.
I don't care about academics with my 3 year old kid....colors, numbers, shapes...I don't give a sh**.
So what if he does not know that stuff right now? He WILL.
Would it be awesome if he could recite his ABC's? Heck yeah. But I cannot dwell on the fact that some kids can and he can't...yet.
I would be torturing myself if every day I thought about we he 'cannot do.' I am only human though...I do tear up when I see other small children holding conversations with their parents. It does hurt to see other "normal" children at play...sort of feels like my chest is caving in...but again, I cannot focus on these negative thoughts; I would go insane. And a crazy momma is not a good momma. I have to keep it together for Brody's sake...and for my husband.
Am I thrilled at those baby videos of 18 month olds reciting the Gettysburg Address? Yes, of course. But really, is it necessary for a 2 year old to know mulitplication tables or the value of a dime? Ummm nope. It's not like they are entering Harvard right after they are potty-trained. We have some time.
I would be more thrilled if Brody made a best friend or said his own name, or maybe an "I love you, mommy!" I mean, who gives a rip if he knows the alphabet...what if he can't sing it with his buddies?
The day he says "I love you" for the first time, will be the best day of my life. Right up there with my wedding day and the birthdays of my boys. That is my own goal for him. To say what he feels, wants, and needs in actual words. That is my goal for him.
And then there's Matt. Matt has NEVER missed a meeting about Brody. In fact, he has never missed anything when our boys are concerned: not a parent-teacher conference, not a doctor's appointment. I am so lucky. Without our marriage, and its strength, I do not know where I would be...probably in a corner crying over buckets of ice cream and other drugs.
So, the meeting today went very well. I left in a great mood and I left wanting to hold Brody even tighter. And tell Destin what an amazing big brother he is to Brody. Now if we could just get him off the shelves and keep him dressed...we would be in good shape.
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