Harley Davidson

Chances are, if you have shared a meal or a beer with me in the last 5 years, you have heard me reference Harley Davidson in just about every conversation. And I promise you, there is good reason for this.

A little history behind the two wheels...when Matt was in high school, he had a crotch rocket. A Kawasaki or Yamaha I believe. He got in a minor accident; he has some road rash to prove it. And since then, he never wanted to spend the time or money to get a new bike. In 2005, we talked about buying a bike but just couldn't make it work with a new baby and all. But Matt took every opportunity to visit a dealer and shop and daydream.

Then Brody was diagnosed with autism, and a bomb went off in our house.

I am a firm believer that you need to take care of the sanity of your partner. I'm also a big believer in my wedding vows; for better or worse. But saying these vows and experencing the "for better or worse" are two different things. And once that bomb went off in my house, I went numb. I couldn't feel anything...joy, sadness, pain, anything for about 3 months. I was on auto-pilot and did what I had to do to make the best decisions for Brody, without feeling the pain of losing the "idea" of what Brody would become. We made the decison to move across town, to take Destin out of his private school (a school he enjoyed), to send Brody thru a grilling 3 months of therapies, interviews and specialists and tests. We did this all and I felt nothing. My logical side took control.

But Matt wasn't so lucky. Matt got hit with serious collateral damage. And I was forced to sit back and watch my husband ride a roller coaster of fear. I watched him slowly dissolve. And all of this in my living room. We had conversation after conversation about "putting the petty shit aside" because guess what? We're in this and we are staying together, so we're gonna make this work. No matter what. Yes, we had some hard talks. We had to get real, fast.

I won't go into much detail as to what led me to a Harley Davidson store back in 2010, but I will tell you, it was a subconscious trip. I suddenly found myself in the parking lot of a Harley dealership in Kirkwood, drilling the sales guy (who looked like Chibbs from Sons of Anarchy by the way) about the differences between a Sportster and a Road King. I was possessed.

I came home from the trip and sat Matt down for a chat,
"I want you to get a motorcycle. A Harley. And I want to get this bike in the next 24 hours."
He looked at me like I was insane, like I had just asked him to light my hair on fire in the kitchen.

"Thank you," he replied.

That is all that needed to be said. We communicated our thoughts and feelings without having to say a word. I knew in my heart that this bike was meant for something more than a ride from point A to point B. And we'll get to that later.

So, the next day, the NEXT day, we drove to the South County dealership and Matt got his bike. It was a red sportster and it was perfect for his first time back on two wheels. And I loved the fact that now, since we owned a Harley, I could buy any and all Harley apparel! Woohoo! An excuse to wear leather and sequins!? Why not?

I embraced the tacky Harley chick role with open arms and was now obssessed as well. I was hooked.

We have since upgraded to a Road King; one of the HOTTEST bikes I have ever seen in my life. But two wheels, an engine, handle bars, and a leather seat means more to us than just what meets the eye.

It may sound cliche, but when I hear that engine, I feel euphoric joy. I know that when I hear that noise, up close, and can feel the heat of the engine and can smell the leather of Matt's jacket, that the only thing we have in front of us, is each other. We can jump on that bike and it's just the two of us. There is nothing, I mean nothing, more freeing than a motorcycle.
We can book a babysitter, kiss Brody and Destin on the forehead, hop on the bike, and just get the fuck out of town. In fact, we have said these very words to each other and again, that is all we have to say. We both know what it means, but we don't know where we are going.

So the moral to this tale is you need to take care of your partner. Now that doesn't mean you give in to every desire or spend money you don't have, but it does mean you have to listen to your heart. I don't know where we would be today, as a couple, or where Matt would be in his recovery from his collateral damage, if we didn't buy that bike.

The bike saved his life. And it saved Brody. And it saved me.