We're Hippies.

This week was nuts. We got a cat, started working from home
and Destin had his first big public hissy fit.

We were at Wal-mart picking out flowers for the front
yard and Destin started asking to "pick out a toy."
I told the kid he got a new video game yesterday and
it just wasn't the time. He said he "didn't love me anymore
and wanted to be sent away." Ouch. This went on thru the checkout
line.

Now, I never flipped out or spanked him (spanking is usually
something I do privately if ever. Public spanking is
humiliating for you as the parent and the child. That is my
Soapbox on spanking in public places) but I was hurt.
Instead of screaming I told him our morning plans
were history. No park as planned and we are going home.

He eventually apologized.

So, I got to thinking about my parenting style.

Pre-autism parenting is different from post autism parenting. My expectations
have changed. I am more accepting. More into spreading
love and closeness and embracing a free spirit...wait...
one second here...

Am I a hippie?

When Destin was born I was so young. And I had no time
or let's be honest, desire to strategize my parenting plan.
When Brody came along, I was focused on balancing
my love between the two boys. And making sure Destin
felt included in this new journey.

Destin was and still is super smart. When he was reading at
3, I was ecstatic and sure he was a future member of Mensa.
I had sky high expectations and he was meeting them with his
intelligence.

Now since Brody's diagnosis, I have felt a strong shift
in my parenting. First, my expectations have changed.
When Destin told me a few years ago that he wanted to be
a NASCAR driver, I was thrilled! He was dead serious.
He was dreaming. So instead of trying to talk him
into Med School, I celebrated his dream with excitement.
And tickets to his first race. The Pre-ASD mom would not have
reacted this way.



With Brody, the word is "acceptance." we accept
Brody for who he is. I remember saying this the minute he was
born. He was born covered head to toe in baby fur!
I took one look and said "we'll take him!!! He is mine!"
And that message has not changed. So parenting with
acceptance tests you. Every day is a new challenge.
Each day I take in the love, the fits, the joy, the terror,
everything. Then I try to make sense of it and make
the best choices possible for the boys.

Here we go again...hippies...good grief.

Moral to the story...love and be grateful for your kids.
Yes, they throw fits and need discipline but really
they do these behaviors because they want to be heard.
Kids will take attention in any form from yelling to loving.

Take it from this hippie, lay the foundation with acceptance
and watch your child take flight.